i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
