I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
