Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
