I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize