I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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