I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
