I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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