Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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