I heard we made out
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
