That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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