There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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