the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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