I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
