You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
