So drunk its hurt
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
