there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
