Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
