ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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