I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
