I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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