honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
