you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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