More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize