You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
