White coat. Heels.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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