No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
