I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
