Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
