sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
