Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
