I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
