He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
