after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
