Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
