is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
