I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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