MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
