Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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