remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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