K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize