And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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