Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
