You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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