We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
