i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You ate ashes out of my bong
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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