Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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