By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
