Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
