Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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