Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
