as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
