What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize