Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
