it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
