Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
