she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
